


and miles to go before i sleep

by ralf



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Aftermath of Possession, Banter, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Jace Wayland Needs A Hug, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Magnus Bane Is Quite Magical, Parabatai Bond, Parabatai Feels, Post-Season/Series 03, Sleepy Cuddles, and he gets one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-21
Updated: 2018-07-21
Packaged: 2019-06-14 00:45:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15377013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ralf/pseuds/ralf
Summary: “Alec, can you come to the Institute?” That's Clary's voice, coming through the line in a low whisper.Alec tenses instantly. “What is it?”“It's Jace.”





	and miles to go before i sleep

**Author's Note:**

> Yep the title is so cliché and I don't even care! It's also borrowed from Robert Frost's _Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening_
> 
> Context: (Written after 3A when my theory was that Lilith, Jonathan and Clary had disappeared to Edom.) Assuming the gang went to Edom and somehow managed to pick up Clary and Magnus's magic, this takes place on the first evening after that ordeal.

It's nearing midnight when his phone rings. Alec had been drifting on the edges of sleep, thoughts hazy and disjointed, but the loud buzzing of the incoming call startles him awake non too gently. He picks up swiftly, checking on Magnus with a sideways glance. There's a small frown creasing his brow, but as far as Alec can tell in the dim of their bedroom he's still asleep.

“Alec, can you come to the Institute?” That's Clary's voice, coming through the line in a low whisper.

Alec tenses instantly.

“Clary? Is everything alright?”

“No. Yes! I mean, no, but it's not what you're thinking. No one is in mortal danger.”

Alec calms a little and idly wonders what their lives have become that this reassurance is actually necessary.

“Then what is it?” he inquires. He's pretty sure Clary knows by now not to bother him this late with things that can wait until the next day.

“It's Jace.”

Alec makes to get up without another moment of hesitation. He mourns the loss of warmth and Magnus for a second, but now that he's focusing on it he senses small sparks of tension through the parabatai bond. Whatever it is, Jace is trying his hardest to keep a lid on it, and that's never a good sign.

“What about him?”

Alec reaches for his discarded jeans.

“He's completely beside himself. He's trying to hide it but whatever I do is not working. I think I'm just making it worse. I don't know what to do.”

Alec buttons up his pants, frowning. “Why are you whispering?”

There's an embarrassed silence, then Clary says, “I'm in the bathroom. When I suggested calling you Jace got a little.. prickly.”

Alec snorts, amused despite himself. For once he can appreciate Clary doing the exact opposite of what she's told. He grabs his shirt. “I'm on my way.”

“Hurry.”

Jace isn't the only one trying to keep a lid on his feelings, it seems, because Alec recognizes badly concealed worry when he hears it. His lips tighten.

“I will.”

He hangs up, not waiting for a reply. He's just contemplating if he should leave Magnus a written note on his pillow or write him a text on his way when the bed sheets rustle.

“You going somewhere?” Magnus mumbles, voice scratchy.

Alec glances over to him, sees cat eyes shining in the darkness, and his heart gives a hard thump.

“Jace needs me.”

Magnus hums and languidly closes his eyes again. “Want a portal?”

Alec is struck with a rush of emotion warming his chest. “If it's not too much trouble.”

Magnus lazily flicks his wrist and a portal swirls into existence right next to Alec. Alec smiles and walks over to press a grateful kiss to Magnus's sleepy lips. With a portal he saves enough time to have a little to spare, after all.

 

~ ~ ~

 

Alec doesn't bother knocking, he just opens the door to Jace's room. Clary is sitting up in bed, Jace lying beside her under the covers, and that itself is the first clue that something is amiss. Alec can't remember the last time Jace so much as wore a shirt to sleep. He vividly remembers the amount of bad puns regarding Jace's level of hotness and the amount of clothes he wore at night Alec had to suffer through during their teenage years.

There's also the fact that Jace is determinedly staring at the ceiling and his breath is slow, but way too controlled to be relaxed.

Once Alec has opened the door completely and leaned against the frame Jace gets up on his elbows and he and Clary turn to look at him, with surprise and relief respectively.

“What are you doing here, Alec?” Jace blinks at Clary, who evades his gaze guiltily. “Did Clary call you?” He sounds incredulous.

Alec crosses his arms, unimpressed. “Is there a reason Clary should have called me?”

Jace sighs longsufferingly and falls back into the cushions. “No.”

Alec suppresses an eye roll and walks into the room, kicking the door shut behind him. The truth is, he's not too sure where to go from here. Jace will open up when he's ready and trying to force him to talk about what's bothering him is the worst way to go, Alec knows that. All he can do for now is try to make an educated guess about what has Jace so on edge and see how he can help. He looks around but nothing seems out of order, the small lamp on Clary's bedside table shedding enough light for him to examine the room. There's nothing there, everything is exactly like it has always been.

His eyes return to Jace, who's already staring at him.

Alec stares back, unwavering.

The fact that Jace hasn't complained about Alec's presence yet is speaking volumes. He might not be ready to put into words what he's feeling, but he is open for an offer of comfort and maybe a little prodding.

Alec reaches for their parabatai bond and does just that.

There's no resistance from Jace this time and Alec tries not to be overwhelmed by the tangle of feelings that unravels before him. He breathes through a wave of fear, anguish and desperation, all spiked with anger and helplessness and resignation and grief.

It's not a conscious decision to go over to Jace and pull him into his arms. It's instinct. Jace doesn't hug back, but he rests his head against Alec's neck and takes a few steadying breaths and suddenly Alec remembers a hug similar to this, shared in Jace's mind.. in a mirror version of this very room, littered with dead Clarys.

He tightens his hold on Jace. He might not know much about how psychological trauma works, but he'd have to be an idiot not to get this. It's no wonder Clary's presence did nothing to calm Jace down.

“She's gone. She'll never lay another finger on you again. I swear.”

Alec clenches his teeth against the memory of promising this once before and failing to keep his word.

“I swear on my life, Jace. _I swear._ ”

Jace shivers and says nothing, but the feeling trickling through their bond is enough. It's not exactly relief, it's more like surrender. Like finally giving in.

“I've got you,” Alec whispers and Jace's fingers clutch at his shirt.

He looses track of how much time passes, focusing on Jace's breaths instead. They even out slowly and Alec remembers belatedly that they aren't alone. He looks over at Clary, who's silently watching them. She smiles tightly, gratefulness clear in her eyes, and Alec mouths _Thank you_ back at her. Her smile turns a fraction more genuine.

Alec finds he wants to reassure her that it's not her fault she couldn't provide Jace with the solace he needed. It's something he needs to remind himself of occasionally, so he knows how that feels.

And yet, despite the way it might fuel Clary's insecurity he's not sure leaving Jace alone with her just now is the best course of action. Cruel as it may be, he can't afford to be considerate of her feelings at the moment. Jace is his priority, and knowing that he is Clary's as well makes it easier for him to utter his next words.

“I'll sleep here tonight, if that's alright with you.”

Jace nods slightly, and that settles it.

“I'll leave you two,” Clary says quietly and slips out of bed.

Jace draws back. “No!”

Alec honestly doesn't know which one of them is the most surprised by Jace's outburst. Probably Jace.

Clary hesitates. “Are you sure?”

Jace won't meet her eyes, looking down at his hands instead.

Alec would sigh at Jace's incapability to voice his desires, but he really has not that much room to talk, so he bites the bullet for his parabatai. “Yes. Please stay.”

Clary blinks, taken aback. “Okay.”

She looks at the bed, blinking some more. “How is this going to work?”

Alec considers this for a moment. Then he retracts his arm that had still been resting on Jace's shoulder. “Move over.”

Jace complies, shuffling to the center of the bed and Alec motions for Clary to get back under the sheets. He slips off his shoes and divests himself of his jeans, dropping them on the floor unceremoniously.

He notices how Jace sticks close to him once he's lying down too, and his heart aches for his parabatai. He knows how much Jace loves Clary, has loved her even before they found their way back to each other, and to see her proximity cause him sorrow is so _wrong_. He can't even imagine how lost he'd feel  if being close to Magnus triggered his worst fears. He'd probably go insane in three seconds flat.

Alec finds Jace's hand under the covers and laces their fingers together. Jace doesn't react at first, but then he turns his head, going a little cross-eyed focusing on Alec. His gaze shines with rawness and Alec barely resists the urge to envelope him in a crushing hug yet again. He settles for a light shoulder bump instead, and the ghost of a smile appears on Jace's face.

Alec feels something inside himself settle. With everything that's happened he never had a chance to take a moment and notice how much he's missed Jace, just being around him in a(n admittedly semi-)peaceful setting.

He can't even remember the last time they spent a night simply talking to each other, let alone their last sleepover. It's been ages, for sure. It feels like a life time.

Alec catches Jace's gaze and glances over at the bedside lamp significantly. Jace shakes his head, and Alec relaxes a little.

“Clary, could you switch off the light?”

Clary shifts and darkness settles over them. Alec wonders for a moment if he should start feeling weird about this unexpected sleeping arrangement, but he doesn't.

“Good night you two,” he says.

“Good night, Alec,” Clary replies. “Sleep well, Jace.”

Jace doesn't answer them, just hums, and Alec rolls his eyes, fairly sure his scorn at Jace's antics is received despite the dark.

Jace snorts and soon Alec hears Clary's breaths slow into sleep. Beside him Jace stays tense for the longest time. If he grasps Alec's hand like a lifeline for the rest of the night nobody needs to know.

 

~ ~ ~

 

When Alec wakes Clary is gone. Jace is still there, head on his shoulder, arm slung across his chest. Alec pats his upper arm just to realize at Jace's displeased grunt that he's already awake.

He's surprised. He had expected Jace to flee the scene as soon as conscious thought set it. It's nice to see Jace accepting comfort more than mere moments after breaking down.

“Did you know that you snore?” Jace asks.

Alec groans. “You too? I _don't_ snore.”

Jace laughs and Alec can't find it in himself to be too disgruntled after that.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night... literally.”

Alec doesn't dignify that with an answer.

Minutes pass in peaceful silence.

“There are new Shadowhunters scheduled to arrive next week. Think you could bear to move to a smaller room so I can assign them this one? It is rather spacious.”

Jace hums, then sighs. “You don't have to play pretend with me, Alec. I know what you're saying and I appreciate the offer.”

Alec smiles. He takes Jace acknowledging the issue, however obliquely, as huge progress.

Still, he can't help but tease. “Does this mean you'll finally settle for a room more reasonably sized for one person?”

Jace rises to the bait. “Don't act like your room isn't as huge as mine.”

“I'm the Head of the Institute. What's your excuse?”

“I'm the best Shadowhunter of this generation... of the past five generations. _At least_.”

Alec huffs. “Just because you believe that doesn't mean it's true. Try again.”

“What about Izzy? Her room is pretty big, too,” Jace argues.

“What about Clary?” Alec shoots back. “She's managing just fine with a room quarter the size of yours.”

“Don't think I don't know you gave her a tiny room just to spite her. I know exactly how your petty little mind works, Alec.”

Alec laughs, unashamed. “Perks of being in charge.”

Jace mutters something that sounds suspiciously like 'abuse of power' and Alec squeezes him in retaliation. It backfires somewhat when Jace just flops down on top of him more firmly, but Alec isn't complaining.

“You know I'm always here for you, right?” he asks, on a more serene note.

“I do.” Jace pauses. “You're the best parabatai I could have ever wished for.”

A small smile settles on Alec's lips and he squeezes Jace again. “I love you, too.”

 

 


End file.
